An adult grandson’s account of his 91-year-old grandfather’s death stirs reflection on vital issues both human and spiritual. So do the words of another of the man’s grandsons, spoken at his funeral.

The older man, André, had been to Mass that Sunday at his parish church in Ottawa, as was his custom. On the way home, he felt weak and dizzy and required assistance walking from a fellow parishioner.

The grandson, Tony, and his wife arrived at the grandfather’s house in time to help him up the stairs and get him settled in his favorite chair. Soon, however, the need for medical attention became apparent so Tony called for an ambulance. By the time he reached the hospital, André had grown sicker and he soon lapsed into semi-consciousness.

A few hours later, with his wife, two grandsons, other family members and a close friend at his side, André died.

About this event, Tony wrote: “I can tell you that my grandfather died .   .   .   .  fully himself until only a few short hours before his death. At 91, he was barely diminished. He had time to receive the sacrament of the sick. I believe he knew what was happening, and that the rite filled him with peace and calm.”

At André’s funeral, another grandson, Marc spoke in tribute to his grandfather. Speaking for his three brothers and himself, he called it a privilege for them to have been close to André their whole lives.

That closeness counted for a lot because “he showed us what was important and necessary for a good life.” Yet he did so by communicating his message with a delicate touch : “He persuaded, he charmed, he entertained, and he led by example.”

Marc then went on to mention some of the lessons taught by his grandfather. They are filled with practical wisdom along with the wit and playfulness that characterized the man. Not only was he a man of considerable learning but he was a citizen of the world, a survivor of the terrible world war that devastated his native Poland and its people.

Here is a sample of André’s rules of thumb as remembered by his grandson:

• Have faith – seek to do God’s will and no matter how bad you think things are, never give up.
• Wear a beret – it will give you panache.
• If you are married, cultivate a sense of humor.
• If you are a man, seek to marry a strong-willed and intelligent woman.
• Believe in God’s grace – it is freely given and will save your life – more than once.
• Watch television – especially news and sports. If you are adventurous, you will read at the same time as you watch television.
• Put love in all its forms above all other human achievements – no matter how smart you are, not matter how much wealth or power you possess, no matter how handsome or beautiful you may be. If you cannot love and be loved by others, you will feel empty and life itself may be a curse.
• Develop your mind. In the great chain of being it is our mind that raises us above the animals and brings us closer to God.
• Love your country and learn its history.
• Go to the movies. They are more than passing entertainment; at their best they can educate and elevate the human spirit.

This imperative about going to the movies takes on special force when one discovers that André, on the night before he died, watched one of his favorite films, the great French classic “The Grand Illusion.” He brought to the viewing of films a sophisticated knowledge of cinematography, movie history, and the many subtle ways in which the medium creates meaning.

The details provided here, especially the spirit evident in his rules, indicate something of this man’s legacy. Too often, legacy is understood to mean only money. Its deeper meaning, however, describes the impact of a person’s whole life. At a person’s death, family members, friends, colleagues, and others come to recognize how his or her presence has changed their world.

Thus this legacy is revealed as the spirit of the person, something precious left behind. If André’s legacy, brought to a fine point over a long life, was rich in spirit, so is that of other people. Their passing on to another world gives us the opportunity to value their legacy and to allow our own lives to be molded by it.

Richard Griffin