News clips of demonstrations against the marriages of gay and lesbian people frequently show signs condemning supporters of such marriages to hell. One such sign pronounces the awful judgment: “God hates homosexuals.”

I have substituted the word “homosexuals” for another word that I consider too vulgar to be printed here. It is with some reluctance that I avoid that word because it offers a perfect example of the abuse that gay and lesbian people sometimes have to endure.

Though I like to believe that the people indulging in such abuse do not belong to my faith, I know better. Some of my fellow Catholics, in their zeal to defend marriage as they have known it, have often hurled reproaches against those whose sexuality differs from theirs. I deeply regret their actions, and hope they will come to see that this way of defending marriage is not Christian.   

Gay Catholics who have been on the receiving end of insults, abuse, and hatred from people who regard themselves as loyal members of the church can tell you how painful it is to meet rejection from those who profess the same faith. These abusers apparently see no contradiction between their professed love for Jesus and their ill treatment of brothers and sisters whose sexual drives are different from their own.

Not a few Catholics, as well as many others, feel apprehensive about the milestone event that took place in Massachusetts last week. From now on, unless the legality of marriages between members of the same gender is overturned by the voters two years from now, same-sex marriages will remain legal in the Commonwealth.

I am aware, of course, that this event, hailed as another breakthrough in civil rights, is decried in other quarters as a violation of God’s law.

The latter view is that of the official Catholic Church. Both the Vatican and American bishops have condemned same-sex marriage, seeing it as weakening heterosexual marriage and providing an inappropriate setting for the raising of children. In a statement released last week, Sean O’Malley, the Archbishop of Boston, began by saying “It is with deep sadness that we will realize this Monday the creation of same-sex marriages.”

To his credit, however, the archbishop went beyond this beginning and urged “that our sadness at what has happened should not lead us into anger against or vilification of any group of people, especially our homosexual brothers and sisters.” Further, he reminds Catholics that “our task as Christ’s disciples is to build a civilization of love. We must see each person as an irreplaceable gift from God.”

Archbishop O’Malley’s statement followed by a day another issued by a group of more than 100 prominent Catholics. After taking note of the “considerable controversy” about the legalization of gay marriages, these leaders have called attention to a pastoral message issued 18 years ago by the American Catholic bishops to parents of homosexual children.

In that message, the bishops said: “The teachings of the church make it clear that the fundamental human rights of homosexual persons must be defended and all of us must strive to eliminate any forms of injustice, oppression, or violence against them.”

The Massachusetts Catholic laity and clergy finish their own brief statement by saying: “We call on all of our brothers and sisters in the Commonwealth to treat same sex couples with respect and to do no harm to them or their families. We urge a respectful discourse and dialogue among all people.”

I have talked to two Catholic pastors who worked on the statement. Father Robert Bullock acted because of his alarm at “the rancor and anger and the language being used toward homosexual people.” He calls such behavior “reprehensible” and sees the statement as a corrective to such attitudes.

Father Walter Cuenin, for his part, says: “As a faith community, we need to find ways to dialogue with one another with respect.” With regard to the alienating effect of hateful actions toward them, he adds: “Gay people belong in the church” and he wants to make sure they are not rejected.

My hope is that this statement of Catholic laity and clergy will help ensure peace based on mutual respect among members of the faith community and all people of good will. Whatever our position on gay marriage, it is vital for us to treat one another with love.

Richard Griffin