“Now I have another son.” These are the words spoken by the mother of one partner in a recent wedding of two gay men.
Knowing that she is a Catholic, I was impressed with the way she overcame whatever feelings of disapproval she had for gay marriage. She presumably overcame those feelings out of love for her son and affection for his partner.
If she felt mixed about the wedding, so did I. As a guest of the two men, I entered into the joy that my friends Tony and Jim (as I will call them) experienced that day. And yet, I also felt misgivings about the new public policy that gives the title marriage to persons of the same gender.
The joy was genuine because I feel glad about my two friends finding such lasting pleasure in one another’s company. Obviously their love is genuine and has already stood the test of time. They should have the social benefits that come with a union recognized by the state, the way heterosexual couples have for a long time.
My sticking point centers on the word “marriage.” I believe that the word expresses something unique, namely the union between people of different genders. My view is that the joining of men and women in the marital bond differs from same sex unions because the sexes are different from one another.
To me, words are important and marriage signifies something that cannot properly be given to same sex unions because it already belongs to different sex unions.
In holding this view, I realize this puts me with the older part of the American population. Polls show that some 60 percent of people over age 65 oppose legalizing gay marriage while 70 percent of people under 30 approve of it. Does that mean that we elders have a special wisdom or that we are bogged down in outmoded ideas?
I admit feeling some concern for being out of touch with the views of young people. On some other issues, I am glad to be with them and that seems to me a sign of my own vitality.
On this issue, however, I differ from the large majority of young Americans. At a recent lunch with college students, I asked a group sitting near me how they felt. Unanimously they all endorsed gay marriage. I believe that they have not thought deeply enough about the question. And some of them may not believe in heterosexual marriage.
Richard Griffin