The times in prayer most satisfying to me are those moments when I forget that I am praying. These are the intervals when I feel caught up in God and am enabled to disregard myself. So precious do these happenings seem to me that I regard them as pure gift.

Unfortunately these blissful times occur in my prayer life too rarely. Too often, most of the period I set aside for prayer is marked by struggle to stay focused. Sometimes that means trying to keep distractions from taking over my psyche; at other times it means fighting to stay awake. As a result, getting lost in prayer is by no means a common experience in my spiritual life.

In recent years, I have identified a remedy for these problems. The remedy, however, is easier to understand than it is to put into practice. Incorporating it into my daily prayer may require greater spiritual maturity than I currently have. But that will not stop me from trying.

This remedy is to cultivate intention rather than placing so much importance on attention. Increasingly I am convinced that what counts in prayer is wanting to be in touch with God. That desire is pleasing to God, I believe, and has been implanted in us by God.

Seen in this light, distractions become irrelevant. It makes no difference that unwelcome thoughts flit across the screen of our minds. The intention to raise our hearts and minds to the divine being can remain steadfast throughout the periods when we have lost focus. The bother of ideas, memories, imaginings that come unbidden does not hurt our prayer; we can even fall asleep without ruining our good intentions.

To check my ideas about prayer with someone better informed, I consulted Sister Kay Hannigan, member of a Catholic religious congregation. Sister Kay expressed general agreement with my approach saying “One of the key things in people’s relationship with God is the question of what they really want.” And , if they really want to be in touch with God in prayer, that goes far to make prayer effective.

This view of prayer, I realize, can seem to go against a spiritual value that many people greatly esteem nowadays. Buddhists, especially, give the practice of mindfulness a central place in their spiritual practice. Other people do also and mindfulness is often urged as a method for breakthroughs to a deeper life for the soul.

Sharon Salzberg, a writer found on the Internet website called Beliefnet, says “Mindfulness is the quality of fullness of attention, immediacy, non-distraction.” And in many areas of life I much value this approach because it makes living so much richer. It can make of ordinary actions such as eating a pear or tying a shoelace a vibrant experience.

But I still do not regard mindfulness as central to prayer. For me, prayer’s most important quality is what you intend, not your concentration of mind. I am willing to admit, however, that I may have given to mindfulness less than its due.

Sister Kay suggests that intention and mindfulness are more closely related than I would have thought. “Mindfulness can play into desire,” she explains. The desire for a conscious relationship with God, she feels, brings the two qualities together.

“Time spent in getting to know God is important,” according to Sister Kay, “and everyone does this in a different way.”

In this brief discussion about prayer, I have probably put too much emphasis on human activity. By contrast, many spiritual traditions, including my own, give priority to God’s initiative in prayer. God is the one who stirs up in us the desire to be in contact with Him/Her. Our praying should be seen as a response to the activity of God’s spirit within us.

In this column, I have been talking primarily about meditative or contemplative prayer. Spoken prayer, either in the liturgy or in private, has some different characteristics.

However, even in prayer that relies on words, intention is the most important consideration. The many distractions I experience during the Eucharistic liturgy on Sundays, for instance, do not ultimately make much difference. The reason I have come to church is my desire to be in contact with God and that hope continues to carry me all during the Mass.

Richard Griffin