The Interior Life of Older Americans

Who would have expected most older Americans to be so devoted to prayer?

Some three out of four people over age 65, it turns out, pray every day. Of those over age 75, fully 80 percent do so. And each day they spend more than an hour praying.

These findings come from a major survey, published last month by the Pew Research Center. Entitled “Growing Old in America: Expectations vs. Reality,” this study offers a bonanza of information. It focuses mainly on those of us in later life, but also details some of younger people’s attitudes toward us.

Many adults are at least tempted to consider old age as basically a time of decline. They do not realize how rich it can be in the quality of the interior life.

As a wise lady wrote at age 83: “I want to tell people approaching and perhaps fearing age that it is a time of discovery. If they say ─ of what? ─ I can only answer ‘We must each find out for ourselves, otherwise it won’t be discovery.’”

The survey findings reveal such widespread practice of prayer as to show how shortsighted it is to think of later life as lacking meaningful activity. After all, praying ranks high as a form of searching for life’s meaning.

Not only do many elders pray, but we reportedly devote at least an hour to it. Allotting so much time to prayer ─ this finding struck me as astounding. After all, that would put prayer on an equal footing with television-watching as reported by some households.

Yet these reports about prayer, valuable as they are, provoke further questions. How do we pray? What do we pray about? For all its wealth of information, the survey leaves us to speculate about the answers to these vital issues.

I would guess that most of us use words when we pray. These are sometimes spoken aloud; more often, perhaps, they are said interiorly.

One of my earliest models of adults praying was my grandmother. I remember her sitting in a favorite rocking chair, using a well-thumbed prayer book that had served her from way back. She whispered the words, not loudly enough for others to listen in, but enough to provide structure for her prayer.

Most people, I suspect, need words. Without them, the time of prayer can turn empty and tedious. Even people long adept at praying, and who embrace silence in their prayer, find it helpful to recite words at regular intervals.

For all I know, many among us may have entered even more deeply into the interior life. Perhaps they pray without words, content simply to stand in the divine presence and find spiritual satisfaction in unspoken dialogue.

As to subject matter, I suspect the well-being of family members and friends lies at the heart of many a prayer dialogue.

That’s what Emerson, my fellow prayer-group member and friend, centers on. “I go through the names of my 11 grandchildren,” he says, “for two purposes: to be mindful of them, and to remember their names when I see them.”

My age peers, if they have disabilities, either temporary or permanent, probably also pray for the strength to cope with these challenges.

Incidentally, I approach all of this speculation from a classical Christian background. My own prayer life rests on habits learned at home early in life and developed further by quasi-monastic training.

The Pew survey supports my surmise that older people who pray do so relying on religion, like me. When asked how important religion is in their life, more than 70 percent of people over 75 answer “very important.” This answer suggests that they connect their daily prayers with religious belief.

This is my approach, but I respect religious traditions different from my own. These traditions fuel the prayer life of many people. Religions from Asia, for example, have spread across this country, greatly enriching the spiritual life of many Americans.

Though most of the older people surveyed probably pray in religious ways that they learned in early childhood, others will have found inspiration in forms of spirituality that are not directly linked to any religion. “I am spiritual, not religious,” has become something of a rallying cry among those who have broken with “organized religion.”

Some of my friends no longer take part in the services of church, synagogue, or temple, but instead look to spirituality of their own choosing. They have grown comfortable with experimental approaches to the interior life.

What remains significant is that much more goes on in the lives of elders than meets the eye. A great many of them, presumably most, are engaged in a inner search.

In case we ever needed more evidence of the rich interior life of older people, the new research provides it strikingly by revealing how much they pray.