Travel can sometimes have spiritual impacts that surprise us. I refer, not to religious pilgrimages where that is the whole point, but rather to the stirring up of old friendships. Visits to San Francisco and New York recently did that for me and I am the better for these encounters.

In the first meeting I spent time with an old friend (whom I will call Charley) from whom I had felt somewhat estranged. This happened, not because of any quarrel between us, but rather because of problems my friend was experiencing in his family life.

His differences with his wife affected me because my wife and I were friendly with her. Though we did not actively take sides, the rift between them spilled over. Whenever I ran into Charley in the last few years I would feel that the affection between us had been spoiled.

On this occasion, however, he freely entered into conversation with me and we had a heart to heart talk in which he shared his inner experience with me. I quickly discovered that he felt no hostility toward me: I now felt restored to the intimacy that we had enjoyed before.

Charley now lives by himself and has become spiritually reconciled to that fate. He has lost his family, at least for the foreseeable future. He finds it difficult to live alone but has found much consolation in the practice of the spiritual life. He has discovered centering prayer, an approach to contemplation that brings him comfort.

As our conversation went on, it became clear to me how Charley has undergone an inner renewal that helps him deal with the difficult history of his family life. He knows his own responsibility in that breakdown but has learned how to accept what is now. In doing so, he has had the help of a spiritual counselor who has provided sensitive and effective guidance.

I came away from this encounter with Charley feeling renewed and uplifted. Being restored to intimacy with him has heightened my appreciation of personal relationships. I now hope to stay in active touch with Charley and continue the dialogue so agreeably restarted in San Francisco.

Last weekend brought me to New York where I renewed personal contact with an old friend whom I had not seen for some 30 years. It was a pleasure to share brunch and converse with him, his wife, and his two daughters as we reviewed some of our past adventures and exchanged news about current activities.

Retired now, this friend (whom I will call Bill) lives in Manhattan and enjoys life in the big city. He has the good sense to continue working for others, in particular making his free time available to fellow educators. Bill has been blessed with enough income to fund a life style that is gracious and expansive. His wife has continued running her successful interior decoration business.

Bill is one of the many people who have redefined retirement as an opportunity to shift gears and take on new projects. He gets paid for some of his activities, such as teaching in a professional school, while he does others gratis for the benefit of those in need. Doing things for the common good makes a lot of sense to him now that he has time to spare.

That free time also enables him to contribute to the home life of his wife and himself. When she returns from her commute at the end of the day, he frequently has dinner ready for her, along with freshly bought flowers. The quality of their affection for one another is manifest, and not only in details like these.

The parents take obvious pride in their daughters, young women around 30, and relish the younger woman’s activities as an actor and playwright. The older daughter works in her mother’s business, much to the satisfaction of both of them, it would appear.

Bill did not share much with me explicitly about his spiritual life, although it seems to me clear that he has high ideals inspired by the religious tradition in which he grew up.     

The gracious hospitality that Bill and his family showed to me and my family on this occasion stirred not just our thanks but also the admiration and affection that remain at the root of our long-lasting friendship. It would be unrealistic to claim that the passage of those 30 years had changed nothing. However, the feelings that we first had for one another long ago had clearly lasted.

Two encounters, one on the west coast, the other on the east, one planned, the other accidental, brought me together with old and valued friends. I take these two meetings as a source of spiritual grace and blessing. Finding that these friends still care about me and I about them has provided me with renewed feelings of worth on both sides.

Richard Griffin