Are there virtues and vices characteristic of later life?
Even to ask the question can seem terribly old fashioned. It smacks of the 19th century rather than our 21st.
But moral theologian Edward Vacek believes it is helpful to discuss the issue. That’s what he did last week at a Boston College conference entitled “Living the Journey: Spirituality for the Second Half of Life.”
Some 900 people turned out for this day-long event, thereby proving a high level of interest in the aging/spirituality connection. Vacek was one of a dozen presenters who spoke, often brilliantly, about this connection.
Boston College has thus caught up with a subject that for years has attracted the interest of many gerontologists from across the country.
For Fr. Vacek, a Jesuit who teaches in BC’s new School of Theology and Ministry, those entering into later life should ask themselves three simple questions. What kind of person am I? What kind of person do I wish to become in this phase of my life? How do I make the transition?
The questions, at least, are simple. The answers are by no means so easy.
One of the great failings in later life, Vacek suggests, is focusing upon self-gratification.
Some people, looking toward retirement, are tempted to take what seems an easy way out. They say: “No more responsibilities for me, I don’t want to have any social expectations. I just want to be me, and do whatever I want.”
In this stage of American history, retirement, of course, can last decades. Many of us live into our 80s and 90s, long after we have left employment.
This relatively new situation still lacks definition in a culture that so values achievement, and measures it by money. We Americans lack good cultural models to help us figure out what to do with ourselves after we stop working.
But we do know enough to feel anxious, Vacek suggests, when someone brings up the moral dimension of later life. “When you talk about the responsibilities of old age,” he says, “then people get very nervous.”
However, whether for good or not, I almost never hear the subject mentioned. Even in church, where you might reasonably expect to hear it, I cannot recall a preacher raising the topic.
This is why I valued Vacek’s talk. Though I already feel some concern about not doing enough for those in need, I welcome being prompted to think further about such issues.
Vacek outlines four stages in late life, each with it own set of responsibilities.
The first is continuity. We should expect to obey certain basic rules. They include love of God, love of neighbor, love of self, and love of the world. This last I was especially glad to hear, since I judge it vital for us to contribute to the world that will belong to our successors.
Second, new beginnings. These will involve the adventure of growing and reinventing ourselves in ways previously unknown. It might prove a time when men and women find ways to reverse roles. As a theist, Vacek also sees this stage as an opportunity for us to collaborate with God in our new-found work.
This stage can also be a time for enjoying life, for discovering the pleasures in being a person of leisure.
Disengagement can be a third stage, when you may cut back on many activities in favor of top priorities. You can ask yourself the question “What can I do within the short horizons that I have?”
Finally, there comes a time for completion. Ideally, this period can provoke the keeping of a diary of your life. “Passing on the story of your life is one of your treasures” says Vacek, a sentiment that I endorse wholeheartedly.
He also sees this stage as a time to receive from others. This demands a certain detachment as we learn dependence on those who take care of us.
Drawing on his religious tradition, Vacek concludes his talk by affirming “It’s OK to die.” Though this approach runs contrary to American culture, he feels it to be valuable. In fact, he considers it less than moral for people who have lived long lives to stave off death by every possible medical means, no matter how expensive or wasteful.
Back to the beginning. We now have some answers, at least in compact form. Yes, later life has both its virtues and its vices.
Can you suggest additions to the list?
I would like to add one of each. A vice that sometimes goes with old age is misanthropy. It saddens me to encounter people who, in their later years curl up their lip in disdain when they see other people, or ignore the needs of the young.
The corresponding virtue is benevolence — an attitude whereby one wishes well of other people generally. It probably belongs with love of neighbor, but I find it deserves mention for itself.